New Zealand PM John Key Denies Being a Shapeshifting Alien Reptile
The Prime Minister of New Zealand has publicly denied being a shapeshifting alien reptile from outer space, following a freedom of information request.
John Key, 52, said he was visited by a doctor and a vet and, to the relief of the country's 4.5 million people, both medics agreed he is a human.
"I've taken the unusual step of not only seeing a doctor but a vet, and both have confirmed I'm not a reptile," Key told 3news television.
"I've never been in a spaceship, never been in outer space, and my tongue's not overly long either."
Key's bizarre statement came after an Auckland man submitted an Official Information Act request demanding evidence the head of the government was not an alien lizard.
"Could you please provide any evidence to disprove the theory that Mr John Key is in fact a David Icke style shapeshifting reptilian alien ushering humanity towards enslavement," the request submitted by Shane Warbrooke in January read.
The Prime Minister's office declined the request because the document alleged to contain the information requested did not exist or could not be found.
Key was subsequently asked if he was an alien by a reporter earlier this week.
"To the best of my knowledge, no," he replied, before detailing medical checks that proved he was "just an ordinary Kiwi bloke".
Icke, 61, is a former British professional footballer and politician who authored several books claiming all of humanity is controlled by a secret group of shape-shifting reptilian humanoids called the Babylonian Brotherhood.
According to the former spokesman for the Green Party, numerous world leaders, including US president Barack Obama and Queen Elizabeth II are the result of reptilian cross-breeding.
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